Deaf People Welcome Spring – No Gloves Means Clear Speech
No Gloves
Deaf people across the northern hemisphere are rejoicing (quietly) as they prepare for the onset of Spring. The hearing impaired suffer through the Winter months due to excessive hand wear. For most, trying to speak in cold weather while wearing heavy gloves is like trying to have a conversation at a nightclub.
"It's so hard to communicate and I can't do anything about it. I feel like my hands are tied", said Sean, who has suffered from poor hearing all his life.
One unfortunate victim accidentally purchased mittens instead of gloves. This resulted in extremely poor communication causing his friendships to deteriorate. He switched back to gloves after two weeks. He realized that though he had saved $2.95 on mittens, he had been having thoughts of self-lynching due to extreme loneliness.
There are other unexpected quirks in the deaf community. One ASL member, Darren, recounts speaking with deaf foreigners.
“I hate the Indian accent. With all that hair coming from the knuckles how can you concentrate on what’s being said?”
Darren speaks favorably of other groups though.
“I love the French, their speech is so sensual. They use a lot of lotion which really softens the conversation."
Sign language requires limber wrists and expressive gestures, so it's no wonder that the most eloquent people tend to be homosexuals.
Anger tends to be expressed in interesting ways. The most vicious insult is generally "I hope you get carpal tunnel!" and in sign language a slap in the face generally means "fuck you". Though, the gesture does seem to retain it's meaning in other dialects as well.
March 11th, 2011 - 23:20
mittens, lol